Retrieved via the Wayback Machine. Originally posted by Dilip D’souza

7pm: Rabbi. So says the KGAF schedule for Sat Feb 11, and since I live in a household of Rabbi fanatics, this is a must-see, especially give its kid-friendly time. Still, I think I should try to confirm that this is not a priest getting up to sing songs, or maybe a group named for a furry hoppity animal and they forgot the last letter in the schedule, or even the previous Chief Minister of Bihar crooning for KGAF and they mis-spelled her name. I think I should confirm that this is indeed the Rabbi of the eponymous album.

So I call the Festival hotline. This 7pm Rabbi show, I ask, is that Rabbi Shergill? “One minute”, says a nervous womanly voice. Much whispering and shouting and general crowd sounds - this hotline is answered in the open smack in the middle of Kala Ghoda - and several minutes pass, and a guy comes to the phone and asks me “What do you want?” Patience wearing thin, I repeat my question. He practically laughs in my ear. “No no! It’s not Rabbi Shergill! It’s that fellow who sings Bulla ki jaana!”

Anyway.

We get down to Kala Ghoda by just before 6pm, by which time I’ve seen my T-shirt slogan of the day, on a young lady crossing the road. “Han Some Women”, it says.

First order of business is a pencil portrait of my son. Meanwhile, Vikrum pushes his way through the crowd to run into us, doing a passable imitation of some quick-marching jawans he watched at close quarters last week. A little later Gregory Roberts, author of Shantaram, strides past and Vikrum has a short chat with him, interrupted by autograph-seeking swooners.

I note that the stall we buy candy-floss from also has available Chaineese Paittice, Chaineese Bhel and Caremal Popcorn.

We buy a dabba - you know, one of those things that dabbawallas carry, with food inside? - for several hundred rupees. Oh yes, it also tells time. This is true.

Some time after 7pm, we bundle ourselves into a cab and zoom over to Azad Maidan. Rabbi, here we come!

Only, they’ve switched the schedule. Indian Ocean was supposed to play after Rabbi, at 8pm. Instead, they have kicked off the evening, and Rabbi will play later. This is a great pity, for two reasons. First, Rabbi will now come on at a decidedly kid-unfriendly time, so we won’t be able to stay to hear him. Second, Indian Ocean is - how can I put this kindly - awful. I mean, it’s like a wall of sound, made up of interminable guitar riffs, drum riffs, more guitar riffs, on and on.

You three IO fans out there, don’t come after me.

So we rush hastily out of Azad Maidan, into the little food alley right there. This is where you get the world’s best kala-khatta. Same place also serves, going by the menu, “lemon juice”, “pineapple juice”, “white rose juice” and “sekonjbin juice.”

No thanks, I’ll stick with kala-khatta.

And then we retire across the alley to “Nagesh’s World China Town” for some non-veg fast food. Nagesh has one of those only-in-Bombay addresses: “near Jhunka Bhakar”. I want to find the establishments that are “near idli-dosa”, or “near hamburger and fries”.

And to still-blaring notes and riffs from IO, we find Nagesh’s menu has plenty to offer.

There is a “Chicken Dargon Special” soup. Mmm-hmm!

Under “Rice so Nice”, there is both “Veg Tripple Schez Rice” and “Chicken Tripple Schez Rice.” Both “Veg Wrong Rice” and “Chicken Wrong Rice”. Under “Manchurian”, there is both “Veg Wrong-Chilly” and “Chicken Wrong-Chilly”.

(Yeah, if they give me the food chilly, it would be pretty wrong).

All through my meal, I’m watched closely by two cats, two dogs and three street kids, all asking in their own particular ways for my food. And all through my meal, Indian Ocean blasts away tunelessly. Think they might benefit from a dose of Veg Wrong Rice.

Comments

Comment by Vikrum on February 13, 2006 @ 1:28 pm

Dilip,

Thanks for the hilarious write up. It was a great night, and it was also a wrong night. They should have had some jawans marching instead of Indian Ocean. I would have been there. I would have videotaped it. And watched it over and over again.