Retrieved via the Wayback Machine. Originally posted by charukesi

I walked into the Cama building for Umrao Jaan just as Asha Bhonsle’s throaty voice fills the airless hot room with justju jiski thi usko to na paaya humne, is bahane se magar dekh li duniya humne..

tip : ignore the English subtitles much as it is tempting to look at them, they are distracting. I came to know the ways of the world through this.

Umrao is abducted from her village, separated from her family as as young girl, sold to a kotha in Lucknow. She grows up to be Umaro Jaan, accomplished singer-dancer sought after by the indulgent Lucknowis. Her friend Ramrey also abducted with her, now married to her own love, the nawab. At their meeting after years, Umrao answering her friend’s question - if we had switched places as kids, this mansion would have been mine, and my brothel would have been yours. Oh, for what might have been.

A cast of great actors; Rekha at her sensual husky best, Farooq Shaikh in a much-too-understated role as the nawab who is Rekha’s justju, Naseeruddin Shah in those bumbling-scheming ‘marry me’ scenes, Dina Pathak, Shaukat Kaifi.

The ancient fans creak and move slowly on the high ceiling. The audience titters at Rekha’s barb at Naseer, kya tum apne liye paighaam leke aaye ho? The ubiquitous cellphone rings, arey mein picture me baitha hoon. Umrao Jaan. Haan, woh Rekha-wala.

Suddenly my mind wanders.

Umrao Jaan being remade by J.P.Border-Datta with *shudder* Aishwarya Rai in the lead.

Those magical Lucknowi-Urdu numbers, now to be rendered by. Alka Yagnik perhaps? *further shudder*.

And Anu Malik composing the score for the Umrao Jaan 2.0.

Dil cheez kya hai, dhinchak dhinchak dhinchak, come on baby.

*faints*